Alright, so I’ve been getting lots of emails from readers of SonicSeduction.net about approaching women, or rather, how to overcome the fear of the approach.
Here’s what I have learned from the Shogun Method about the art of approaching women throughout the years. (Special thanks to Derek Rake for his input.)
OK, let’s face it.
When it comes to approaching women, most guys tend to freeze up…
They look at the woman that they like, brave themselves to make the initial contact, and then turn to ice completely like the proverbial deer in the headlights.
But who can blame them? Without a doubt, approaching women is definitely one of the hardest things a guy will ever have to do in a lifetime.
(If you’re having bouts of approach anxiety, trust me, you’re not alone.)
And it’s definitely not your fault either.
You see, it’s all rooted in your psychology – and it’s something that every guy is born with.
For one, the mere thought of going up to a girl brings about various fears… such as the fear of (negative) response and the fear of rejection.
After all, you have absolutely no idea whether a girl will actually welcome your approach or shun it completely.
And guess what?
Fortunately, there are ways out there on how to approach a girl that almost always bring about a positive response!
Keep reading to find out what you have to do to get the results that you want every time you approach a girl that you like. Call it the fail-proof Shogun Method way if you must. 😉
Now this method presumes that you already know Fractionation – the technique which Derek Rake’s Shogun Method students use to make women fall in love with them in 15 minutes or less upon the approach. If you haven’t done so already, watch this video, and then come back. (You’ll need to enter your primary email address because the link to the video is emailed to you.)
How To Approach A Woman – The Shogun Method 2-Step Approach
Naturally, the first thing that you need to do is to find a target.
The good news is that women can be found practically everywhere, be it at school, at work, at the gym, in a club, at a bar, or even on the streets.
Before you approach, get your Fractionation lines ready. (For a simple Fractionation routine which you can use immediately, download the Fractionation Action Checklist.)
Step #1: Prep Her Up For Intrigue Pings / Fractionation
First, make eye contact with her.
One of the biggest reasons why guys get rejected by girls is because they don’t make eye contact with them first.
Why? Well, it’s quite simple: if you don’t make eye contact first, girls may feel vulnerable… because they will feel like you snuck up on them when they weren’t ready for it in any way.
Don’t creep her out!
Now after you made eye contact with her, what’s next?
Pretty simple. After you catch a girl’s attention, show her a slight smile.
Here’s why you do that: this smile will be your way to find out if a girl is interested in you or not and whether she is open to being approached or not.
This is the “come-on bait” which you’ll use to see if she bites. 🙂
If she is open to your approach, she should smile back.
If she keeps a blank look on her face after you smile or if she looks away right away, then she probably doesn’t want to be approached.
(Don’t instantly take it to heart, though. She might just be having a bad day. Move on.)
But if she smiles back, then you have to start focusing on your body language.
You see, body language happens to be absolutely vital if you want to effectively approach a girl and succeed.
A lot of guys approach girls with their shoulders slumped and their nerves stuck in their throats.
Unfortunately, girls can quickly sense when guys are nervous and are most likely to reject them if they are.
Nervousness is contagious, and it makes other people uncomfortable. The easiest way to calm your nerves is to stop thinking too much about the approach and just go.
Now you’re all prepped up and you’ve already gotten the foundation work done, it’s time for some serious seduction…
Step #2: Deliver An Intrigue Ping
Intrigue Pings are short stories or lines that you deliver to achieve one thing, and one thing only – to capture her attention so that you can get her to Fractionate.
Watch this short video (hosted by my friend Fredo Hill) on how to craft Intrigue Pings –
Once you have captured her attention using Intrigue Pings, then move on to the final step…
Step #3: Use Fractionation On Her
So you’ve physically approached your target, and she seems to be receptive to you. What do you say then?
The conversation should flow on its own if you have delivered the Intrigue Ping successfully (watch the video above if you’ve skipped it). Then, seal the deal with Fractionation!
Caution – remember to build up sufficient rapport with her before using Fractionation – otherwise you’ll just sound like a creepy weirdo.
Here’s a pro tip: when you use Fractionation, remember to “stack” your conversation topics and give her both emotional ups and downs when you talk to her.
Again, everything regarding how to approach a girl using Fractionation can be found here –
How To Use Fractionation To Approach Women
(You’ll need to enter your email because the link to the presentation is emailed to you.)
Whether things go smoothly while you talk or not, be proud that you were able to approach a girl to begin with. And if you’ve used Fractionation correctly on her, then the chances are beyond good that she will respond positively to you!
BONUS SECTION: WORKING ON YOUR APPEARANCE
Contributed by Krista Beluka – SonicSeduction.net’s resident style coach (firstname.lastname@example.org)
There are other tips on how to approach a girl that you should remember, too, though. You have to get your fashion sense and your overall appearance under control, for instance. This means dressing nice, grooming yourself properly and finding the perfect image for you.
(And as a bonus, if you’re a sharper dresser than her boyfriend if she has got one, then you’ll get a leg up against that creep! For more boyfriend destroyer techniques, click here.)
Some guys may like to suit up every time they go out, while others may prefer the bad boy look.
Then there are guys who look great in preppy outfits and those who look best with goth attire.
If you have no idea what looks good on you, try getting some advice from your female friends and relatives. Or, better yet, test out different kinds of styles yourself and see what you feel most comfortable in.
Either way, your look, fashion sense and overall image will either get more girls to talk to you or scare more of them away.
Now, this doesn’t mean that you won’t get positive results for having a great personality; but if you pay more attention to your looks, you will definitely be more successful in the end.
A lot of guys like to believe that looks don’t matter in the dating department, but they definitely do. If girls don’t find your looks acceptable, then you won’t have a chance with them. It’s as simple as that.
Fortunately, you can improve how you look with ease. All you have to do is put some effort and thought into the process.
So, get out there and look for a style that suits you to a tee.
If you can’t find one, then rest easy knowing that suits always get positive results for guys, no matter what.
If you really have no idea how fashion works, then try looking to other fashionable men for inspiration, ask sales people to help you out or use fashion as a conversation starter whenever you approach a pretty girl.
Another easy way to get better at approaching a girl that you like is to look for guys who are already successful with girls and asking them questions for more information. (Find out what works for them and what they do in order to get the results that they want.)
The trick here would be finding nice guys who succeed in the dating game, get the results that they want and are willing to share their inside information with you.
You can either ask random guys at a bar what they do, or ask your friends for help. You can also turn to real experts who live their lives seducing women left, right and center!
Regardless of where you decide to look for a coach and whether you pay for the information that you get or not, it would really help to get mentors (someone like Derek Rake) in order to truly succeed in approaching the girls that you like. If you know these fundamentals of dating, you’ll never go wrong.
After all, you can be guided into learning the most effective ways to master the art of approaching girls with them….
Or You Can Take The Ultimate Shortcut:- Fractionation
Learning how to approach a woman can be tricky especially when the risk of rejection is just too high. However, with the right techniques you will have higher chances of success.
One of these techniques is Fractionation which you can learn by watching this video presentation:-
Fractionation: Enslavement, Not Seduction! (Click Here)
Enter your best email address on that page because link is emailed to you (in order to prevent abuse.) Go on, do it!
Frank O'Leary says
What are the exact words should I use when approaching a girl?
Didn’t you read the article? Use Fractionation!
Yeah, read the article. Don’t be lazy, boy.
read the article dear boy
Adu Sonia says
What are the exact words should I use when approaching a woman.
Samuel P.L says
OK, I’m writing as a student of Derek Rake. Fractionation is not exactly trivial, but once you learn it, the skill is with you for life.
It really goes beyond approaching a girl IMHO. It’s a powerful Enslavement device (if you have studied the Shogun Method you’ll know what I mean.)
Dan The Man says
OK, I was really skeptical at first, but after I used the One Sentence Fractionation everything really falls into place. I never really believed in “silver bullets” (Fractionation is NOT one) but this gets pretty close.
I have a problem of being friend-zoned whenever I ask a girl out. I’ve now given up. I have no hope in dating! Help me how to avoid friend-zones and such.
How can one approach a girl?
Bramin David Von Sankei says
Give her a “come on bait” in the form of a slight smile. Then, approach and use Fractionation on her.
There – I summarized the above guide for you.
(It works, BTW.)
Unbelievable, are man nowadays so shallow that they are unable to go out there and experience life for themselves? We are called MEN for a reason!
I am not against the issue of searching for advice, but what actually puzzles me is the fact that a lot of this man on this site are unable to a approach lady. This leaves me thinking: why the hell would you call yourself a man?
Because adult males are called men. MOST men find approaching women extremely difficult and nerve-wrecking… the anxiety is severe. Don’t attack their masculinity just because they are struggling with something and trying to get advice to better themselves.
Bobby jr says
Who do you think you are to judge them like that? You have no right to judge them. It’s not like you’re good at everything. Get a life.
Yo Man, Give it a rest. Every human has their strengths and weaknesses. Trying to tackle your weaknesses is what makes you a man.
What is the best way to tell a lady that you love her?
Approach is easy the hard part is the close. I have seen girls dive into bed with some serious losers because they could close.
I’ve learned a lot from you. Keep up doing a good job.
I want to know how to make girls approach me. Is that even possible?
She slapped me and I laughed. Then I continued with Fractionation. She’s now my girlfriend.True story.
Michael Jay Stevenson says
LOL! Great story!
Ashraf Saifllah says
This is the “real” fractionation technique. We need to fully understand the concept first before we implement what we learn here!
I hate websites like this. So it’s websites like this that women have to combat with guys cold calling/approaching us everywhere. My advice is… DON’T APPROACH US!
I don’t care what your posture is, whether you are nervous/confident or not, what you are wearing, whether I like your look or not…if you are a stranger…I am not interested, period.
You can’t possibly know anything about a woman based upon appearance alone or trying to “make rapport” through techniques.
These recommendations seemed geared at social misfits to give them advice that will never work. I met my current boyfriend when we were sitting together in a coffee house. He didn’t approach me nor I him. The power went out and we started talking – without agendas, moves, flirtation, rapport building, etc. And learned we had a lot in common, that we felt comfortable with each other. We started off as friends and ended up dating.
All of my previous boyfriends have been drawn from social networks – we know each other’s families, we were going to the same school, taking the same classes, involved in the same. We KNEW each other. They weren’t trying to pick me up. We decided we had chemistry and the rest fell into place.
In today’s day and age which is saturated with porn and perverts, where rapists run amok (where a mere hello to a stranger can lead to stalking, and where men routinely harass women in public, trying to build rapport, cat calling, following women down streets in their cars, mistaking a hello for a come on and then flying into a violent rage when they get rejected) to wasting our time on stupid jokes, rapport building, starting at us and trying to catch out eye, looking for any sign of friendliness to interpret as a green light, leaving women to avoid all men, all eye contacts – as God forbid even a hello, smile, friendly chatty conversation will be construed as interest…
Most women are NOT interested in strangers. It doesn’t matter how good looking you think you are, how much thought you put into your style and clothes, how much money you have, what joke or pretext you came up with. It’s just not safe for us to engage you and every other desperate man out there who wants to consume all of our time auditioning for the role of bed partner/date!
You men should be pursuing goals, earning money, developing character and then courting and dating women you meet along the way. Only losers try to pick up women in public and/or try to make it a past time. No decent woman wants some guy who hangs out trying to pick up people. Just stop already.
Whoever developed these PUA boards has strained relations between men and women. I loved Europe as men would approach with wonderful, enlightening conversation. If you hit it off, you could pursue further, gradually. Sex was not on the forefront of their mind, rapport and friendship was. There was no agenda.
If the conversation ended well, you might wish each other well, or you might plan to meet again or keep in touch. If it didn’t, the guy would be on his way.
Here in the USA, God forbid you talk to a guy, and suddenly he thinks he has a woman hooked and needs to “close” the deal regardless of whether you make sense as a couple, have anything in common, or whether she is even interested. It’s all about sex, approaching “a girl” (any female who happens to have female parts), and getting some.
Enough already! Ugh!
If you guys want to read about how to approach women, read female boards about what to do/not to do. Most will debunk all the stupid advice that is dished out to men.
What the fuck? So you’re saying that if you don’t know of any girls in your inner circle, you’re screwed?
Sorry, but that’s not true. I am very attractive and well-dressed.
I approach beautiful woman wherever I see them. Sometimes they show no interest but once in a while I get a date. I have had relationships started this way.
I'm Hot says
Uhmm. . . you’re kinda wrong. I’m very good-looking and very well-dressed. Girls… they’re all over me. I just stand there and they’re all like “Oh my GOD!, who’s that handsome guy just perfectly standin’ there, being perfect and HOT.” And FYI, I don’t approach them, they approach me.
Women don’t approach. Not the pretty ones anyway.
Ooh… Dude that sounded way too awesome. Damn……! You got to be my coach man..um
Shootz you can attract all the females you want, but can you keep any of them around for a certain amount of time. I know a lot of really hot guys, but as soon as they open their mouth, I am turned off. Looks only go so far for initial attraction, when the conversation starts is where it counts. Plus there has to be that vibe that no one can fake. Guys will fake some much to get a woman it is ridiculous and they end up alone. Just be real, and real interested in me or I am gone.
So much yes to this comment. Don’t approach women you don’t know. It’s creepy, no matter how ‘confident’ you are (in fact, that makes it even creepier).
Jon G says
Human beings have speech and genitals because we are designed to communicate and form relationships.
There is nothing wrong with meeting new people, be it because of romantic or platonic interest or simply out of curiosity.
I approach strangers everyday, men and women alike, mostly because I genuinely enjoy meeting new people and learning their perspectives and stories, and I have never been explicitly or other labeled or classified as creepy for approaching a stranger. Everyone I know was a stranger at one point, especially the women I blindy approached that only because I did so became and integral and enlightening part of my life in one form or another. Most often the result was a mutual addition of value one another’s lives.
Talking to anyone is only as creepy as you make it. You’re not better or above anyone, let alone the inherent nature of the entire human race.
There are amazing people out there, and the only way to get from stranger to acquainted is to walk up and say hello.
I don’t know with what kind of judgemental , fearful or misanthropic lens you view other people, but I can say from vast experience and with great certainty that not approaching people is a great way to live a boring, basic and self-centered life. And that’s just creepy.
So basically what you’re saying is we have to approach women we know?
Kinda defeats the purpose of talking to women. Aren’t we supposed to get out and meet new ppl? How the hell are we supposed to do that?
I’m an introvert, borderline autistic.
I have severely stunted social skills and am painfully shy. From experience, people find it much more ‘creepy’ if you don’t approach or don’t talk much.
I used Fractionation, and it changed my life for the better (I am dating two women now). If I can use it and be successful, then anybody can do it. Trust me on this.
“You men should be pursuing goals, earning money, developing character and then courting and dating women you meet along the way. ”
>Implying you meet women along the way. That doesn’t always happen… UNLESS YOU APPROACH.
Get that through your thick, empty skull. Relying on chance encounters during work or school or whatever may make you meet great women, but it’s very limiting, and it doesn’t always guarantee that those women are available and/or interested.
Most women actually don’t mind guys approaching them.
Especially if you know your stuff (like Fractionation – it keeps things interesting.)
Wow Lucy! You act like a woman but you think like a man.
Frank Hyden says
Lucy, you are so messed up. Quit giving anyone any advice!
Women love getting hit on by desperate men (who are everywhere by the way). They love the attention even if they do love complaining about it!
Have fun living a lonely and miserable life.
In the meantime, I’ll still be approaching and meeting wonderful women who will like me too while you’re living in your own bubble devoid of new people.
Wow, you’re a piece of work!
So because I have been busy going overseas for my country and not having time to socialize with many people then I should not try to find dates? If I relied on luck I would be dead.
Thank God for this site, and especially Shogun Method. Derek Rake FTW.
Remember, Lucy: a stranger is just a friend you haven’t met yet 😉
Have you seen gold digger pranks on YouTube? Those pranks are done mostly on chicks with boyfriends and the prank still nails them a date so please STFU! XD So even a hopeless unattractive man can get a date. Most of the girls act just like you when they’re approached (avoiding eye contact and not showing any interest) but none the less the guy still gets the girl. I’m sure you’re no better than them so unless you’re with a super handsome and super rich guy already you’re not even safe from them. 😉
Screw this stupid feminine bitch, GTFO of here with your feminine comments. Keep ’em to yourself!
Thanks for your opinion, makes sense to me!
Darren Rowse says
After thousands of approaches, I can assure you that “how” is not important because you have to fail hundreds of times to learn the how. The only important thing is to do it consistently without quitting. If you don’t quit to approach 10 women every day for a month, you will be thinking as I think.
Of course, something like Fractionation will reduce your chances of failure by, say, 80%. (I’m writing from experience.)
Last Nomad says
A woman thinks she knows what she wants but that is an illusion. I have tested this for years and validated it.
It’s up to the guy to show her what she wants in such away that she feels it was her choice all along. (Using Fractionation is a way to accomplish this quite easily.)
You must be talking to the wrong women…lol. We know what we want and just because it isn’t you does not give you the right to put all of in the same category, stop staring at the Unicorn girls.
Seth Ramirez says
I wonder if you said something like “I’m a good looking guy, you’re a good looking girl, can I buy you a drink?” would work. Lol. JK.
Seriously though, my best pickup line is “I couldn’t help but wonder if your cheeks hurt from holding up that perfect smile..” << Gets them every time…
I guess it helps that I'm a handsome young man though.. I'm not trying to sound narcissistic, but that's what I'm told by different women, so it might be true.
OMG if any guy used those lines on me, I would just laugh and then leave! If your attracted to a girl, just look over at her to see if she smiles back, then go say “hi’ my name is ______ then chat for one minute….no more, just ask her for her email address, or business card, say “thanks, I have to get back to my friends” then leave as soon as possible. Then you can email her!
Thanks to the attitudes of women out there like Lucy, I no longer try to – and will not under any circumstances – interact with women other than in entirely professional circumstances because the margin for misinterpretation of literally anything I might do is simply too great. I don’t care how attracted I am to her or what ‘signs’ she may send me – no matter how ‘obvious’ they are. If a woman is genuinely interested in me (and who knows – this might be the case) and I don’t respond – I apologize in advance for wasting her time. I am a great guy and have been told so by many women, but the fact is, any woman could charge me with harassment because she doesn’t like my face or my regular smile. And though on those sorts of counts she’d likely lose – why would any man put himself in a situation where his reputation and freedom are at risk at every turn? This has never happened to me but I know a guy who was taken to court just for saying ‘hi’ in a peopled public place in full daylight. He ended up being found not guilty (she had to pay him damages) but he was almost suicidal about it.
Women put up with all kinds of unspeakable harassment from men every day and this is beyond unjust. But I do not do those things to anyone and will not put myself in a position where I could be tarred and feathered with the same brush – ever. Nope. No woman, no matter how crazy attracted to her I might be is worth it.
Lucy you sicko. Screw what you think. Approaching women is the only way to GET SOME.
This is very very interesting
Bashir buyondo says
tonnie rax says
Ayonz Stallin says
Actually approaching a lady is something which is not so hard, and then the hard part of it is how to make the relationship last longer after winning the girl’s heart. Becoz some ladies are realy funy, whenever they see you with other ladies, the only word they can say there is just “YOU ARE CHEATING ON ME”. On my behalf, thats the greatest disease in relation, otherwise approaching is not hard.